29 7 / 2014
Since my journey began in Alaska, I’ve met a few other bicyclist and I’ve seen a lot more since being in the United States, and I have even met a few people walking to their destinations. The other day I biked to the Lewis & Clark State Park, there was only one Hiker Biker Site at the park and it was taken up by a hiker, named Bobby and we shared the site together and ended up spending a lot of time talking with each other.
Bobby was at the very beginning of his walking journey, which would take him down the Pacific coast and then east through the deserts. He was from Seattle and was at the very beginning of his journey. We were both intrigued by each other journeys, although they were somewhat similar, they are both so different from each other as well. Bobby was only about a week or so into his journey and still ironing out the kinks and getting used to his routine. In fact Bobby had just pulled an all nighter and walked 35 miles through the night, when the previous night he found himself in a dangerous town at nightfall with no place to sleep.
On my journey I alway say that it takes me a day to bike what a car could do in an hour. There have often been times that I’ve been very jealous of cars knowing they will arrive to a destination in a few hours that will take me several days. Well that is very similar for Bobby, what will take me a day to ride on my bike will take him several days to walk. We both had days where we set out with too high of a expectation/goal to meet and hadn’t met that goal.
Even though at times I can be jealous of a car, I ultimately think the cars should be jealous of me and being able to see and feel the land around them. Often times in a car with the windows shut it really is a bubble that isolates the passenger and their connection to their environment.
The beginning of journey is always interesting because you are figuring out your style and how you are going to tour. I was past that stage and have settled into a life on the road, it’s forever changing and I’m constantly adapting but that is what is now my routine. Bobby was still in that early stage of finding that routine and he on numerous occasions would make reference that hiking across the country isn’t fun. I couldn’t exactly understand why he had chosen to walk across the country if he was going to be enjoying it.
Bobby has spent a lot of time working in an operating room and then working a desk job for a big company and had left both of those and hadn’t been working much in the last couple of years and one day decided he would start this journey. He explained to me how walking with a 50lbs pack and worrying about water, food, and where to sleep at night wasn’t fun like going to an amusement park and riding roller coasters all day long, but the moment he put that pack and began walking “it just felt right.” Even though he was still learning things and figuring this out, this journey of his felt right, more so than anything previous that he had done in his life. It may not be fun, but it feels right.
When Bobby said this, something clicked, a feeling that I hadn’t quite been able to put words to made sense. This is pretty much the exact feeling I feel every single day. Even when I left Anchorage and had no idea what I was doing or how I would defend myself against that inevitable bear attack everyone told me I would experience, it just felt right riding into unknown territory and doing something completely out of my norm.
When on the road there are so many unknowns. I barely know exactly what my plan will be from day to day, where exactly I will go, what I will see, or where I will sleep, but this journey feels right. When there are so many unknowns in a journey like this that feeling of knowing that “this is right” is something that we hold on to, something that allows us to go with the flow and find our way.
I always tell people there are three things that are certain about by trip.
1) I will start in Alaska and finish in Florida.
B) I will make a web series, filming and editing as I go
III) I will not be the same person at the end of the journey as I was when I started
I now have a fourth thing to add to this list.
4) This will feel right
This is so cool.
27 7 / 2014
Today’s been a good day. I’m trying to take care of myself more and see how it affects my mood and level of happiness and creativity and things like that because that’s the sort of thing I think about all the time. This morning’s version of That involved using this new Headspace app I got, which is like guided meditation for complete meditation-idiots like me. It’s really wonderful and the guide makes it literally impossible to fail. So that was nice. Afterward, I wanted to stay calm so I decided to calm my space or whatever and ended up cleaning the house. The dogs were still barking so I put on music and opened windows and lit incense (Myrhh, because #jesus and the other option was something called “Lick Me Over” and we had one left and this did not seem an apprpriate time.). Between all this I smoked, but decided not to drink.
I had one minor outburst of frustration when, while trying to write down a sketch idea, my dog Sophia wouldn’t stop licking me and I was more frustrated at myself for not Allowing and trying “be comfortable” instead of just being comfortable and I suddenly “couldn’t write” or whatever made-up story I was telling myself, and then I got upset. To fix this, I put on Junior Senior, the happiest music I could think of off the top of my head that also fit the criteria of “I haven’t listened to in awhile.” It was really good and I don’t know why we don’t talk more about them. First album only though, Second One’s like “ehhhhhhhh? where are my keys? I gotta go…”, and third one’s like who knows, I haven’t listened to it.
Suddenly, after vacuuming the house and smoking and listening to music and showering I found myself writing a blog (not this one) and writing 3 sketches. It’s interesting because my ego’s intention this weekend was to write a song and share it on tumblr. My soul’s intention (or whatever) was just to create. When I put myself in this state of trying to not be anxious like I always am, I found myself creating, which is cool, but I ended up writing sketches and a blog? That’s cool I guess.
I want to see if I can write this song today though. Everytime I try I feel blocked. Even with today’s clearings, I ended up creating, but not what I wanted? So I’m not focusing? Is that what it is?
Do I need to eat? I’m gonna go eat and buy a She-Hulk comic with Sab. That’s as far as our Sunday is #planned so far.
*disappears in cloud of smoke*
*coughs a lot, doesn’t disappear, walks out door like cartoon*
24 7 / 2014
"Focus is a function, first and foremost, of limiting the number of options you give yourself for procrastinating… I think that focus is thought of as this magical ability. It’s not a magical ability. It’s put yourself in a padded room, with the problem that you need to work on, and shut the door. That’s it. The degree to which you can replicate that, and systematize it, is the extent to which you will have focus."
24 7 / 2014
You are alive now. This is IT! Who knows what will happen tomorrow or ever? What we have is this time right now and we must give it everything we have. And if you’ve been slacking off, don’t feel bad. That was supposed to happen in order to bring you to this moment. And THIS moment is THE moment - -the one where you committed to your dream with more conviction than ever.
And what if your dream never happens and you die still trying to make it? Then you can honestly say that you lived your life as fully as you possibly could have. What’s the point of life any way? To just sit around and rest? To play it safe? To make it to your death bed having lived a calm and unremarkable life? Life is the passion that we put into our pursuits. That is what makes us who we are and makes life worth living. Achieving the dream isn’t even as important as living the dream. And all it takes to live the dream is to live each day with as much untiring and unflinching excitement as you can. Do what you love. Pursue what you love. And when you get discouraged, stand back up and dive back in.
22 7 / 2014
"The true artist is one who lives completely, harmoniously, who does not divide his art from living, whose very life is that expression, whether it be a picture, music, or his behaviour; who has not divorced his expression on a canvas or in music or in stone from his daily conduct, daily living."
I want to be professionally me.
14 7 / 2014
"Listening is an art not easily come by, but in it there is beauty and great understanding. We listen with the various depths of our being, but our listening is always with a preconeption or from a particular point of view. We do not listen simply; there is always the intervening screen of our own thoughts, conclusions, and prejudices. To listen there must be an inner quietness, a freedom from the strain of acquiring, a relaxed attention. This alert yet passive state is able to hear what is beyond the verbal conclusion. Words confuse; they are only the outward means of communication; but to commune beyond the noise of words, there must be listening in alert passivity. Those who love may listen; but it is extremely rare to find a listener. Most of us are after results, achieving goals; we are forever overcoming and conquering, and so there is no listening. It is only in listening that one hears the song of the words."